Unlocking the Secrets of Effective Communication with ASK MIA

Q: Why do I feel the constant need to find the bad in something that is good for me?

Many of us don’t feel as though we don’t deserve good things or that we can’t trust good things. A lot of this is based on past experiences, sometimes trauma, where people made us feel as though we are unworthy or not good enough - or have betrayed us, and from this, we learn to lose trust in the good order to protect ourselves. The conversation on how to process “the bad” has increased over the years, but how to process “the good” is not a topic that has received as much attention as it should. 

Q: Thoughts on sex on the first date?

Do you mean to have it or not? I say do it! Be sexually liberated! However, I think it’s important to check in with yourself and ask “why” you’re having sex. Often times I know I’ve used sex as a distraction, an escape, a way to boost my self-esteem, etc etc … a means to an end really. I’m not saying this is inherently bad at all, sex is just another drug or like alcohol in this way. But not knowing why you’re having sex, or the underlying means to ends you are trying to achieve, can end up being really confusing and do more harm than good. Sex is good for the health, it can be hot and exciting and fun and emotional and so much more, so as long as the sex can do you more good than harm then I say go fuck <3 

Q: Squirting: Real or Fake?

real.

Q: How fucked is it or am I overthinking?

You’re overthinking. When it comes to a point where you are debating whether or not you’re overthinking, chances are you probably are. Thinking can only do so much. Your thoughts aren’t actually you, and more times than not they’re just spewing bullshit. Stop living in your head and go play in the world.

Q: How do I know when I might have a sex addiction?

This is a hard one, because who am I to diagnose a sex addiction?  As I’ve said before, sex is just another drug at times. Evaluate your relationship with sex (ask why you’re having it, how you feel before and after you have it, how often do you think about and plot the next time you have sex, do these thoughts consume you, etc).  If anything is constantly preoccupying your mind and controlling your life, then I’d question it. Again, I’m not one to diagnose anything, but if you are concerned or not happy with your behaviors surrounding sex, then try to start changing them to behaviors you do like and wish to have :) 

Q: Anxious vs Avoidant attachment?

Q: Favorite shoot you guys have ever done!!

Q: Advice on how to be confident with your body throughout the whole day with all the changes?

To me confidence with my body comes from confidence in my body. You are not your body, what really makes up you is the stuff on the inside like your ideas, personality, behaviors, dreams, values etc. Once you love yourself, your inner you, you can realize that your body is the thing that facilitates all the things you love about yourself - so how could you not love your body? Obviously, we all have that little voice in our heads who is always telling us otherwise, but that voice is not actually you. That voice is just an echo chamber of things you’ve heard other people say or things that have been said to you - but I’m sure you wouldn’t actually say those things to someone else, so don’t let your brain say those things to you :)

Q: What makes you feel sexy?

Doing things on my own, independently, for myself, and then loving myself for doing so, then as a result not having a care in the world … damn that really turns me on.

But also: creating a perfectly curated outfit, playing music, dancing, smoking a cigarette, reading in the sun, singing in the shower, doing my face routine…doing the things that are just for me.

Q: What do you do when sex accidentally turns into love when it wasn’t supposed to?

Let it happen. You can’t control your emotions, trust me I’ve tried many times and deluded myself into thinking I could. Fighting it only hurts more in the end. To be frank, love is an amazing experience and I think if you have the chance to love then love because how cool is it that you’ve found a person that you get to feel so strongly about and connect so intensely with? Too many people are afraid and try to push it away because it's messy and uncontrollable and someone usually gets hurt. We forget that it’s also beautiful and raw and real and eye-opening and feels amazing when you let it. All the ups and downs emotionally are part of the deal, we can’t control them, so again my answer is to just let it happen xx

Q: What’s your favorite part of Moody mag?

Q: What’s the best drug to be on while having sex? 

It depends on what you want out of the sex. Every drug is different, meaning the way you’ll connect with someone differs between each drug - wether that be mentally or physically. 

Q: How do you do it? (what’s da mia gauakgauk9000)

I honestly don’t have a routine or anything, I like to keep people on their toes. I pay attention to my partner and how they react - especially their breathing - that’s my main tip. 

Q: What are the best things to do/to think about to get over him/her?

Don’t avoid the emotions, process them. Write them down in a journal - ask yourself why you feel certain emotions when you do and reflect on your relationship with them, the good and the bad. Seriously just write everything down, this will get your thoughts out on paper and out of your head so then they feel real instead of just half ideas running around in circles in your brain. You also then get to reread your thoughts and see which ones are good and beneficial or hurtful and ridiculous. 

Most importantly overall, FOCUS ON YOURSELF!!! 

Q: What does self care mean to you?

Self care can look like a lot of things, but to me I guess it means balancing delayed and immediate gratification.